一、很幽默很搞笑的句子
很幽默很搞笑的句子
很幽默很搞笑的句子，在这一个世界上,幽默搞笑的句子是一直不会过时的,毕竟每一个人都是需要欢笑的,在辛劳的工作以后看一句句子是一种很好的放松,下面我带大家简单了解一下很幽默很搞笑的句子.
很幽默很搞笑的句子1一、很多人喜欢旅游分享经验，看着他们把钱花光出去走一趟，回来后生活还是没有任何改变，我就放心了。
Many people like to travel and share their experiences. I am relieved to see that they spend all their money on going out for a trip and that life has not changed since they came back.
二、假如生活欺骗了你，不要着急，拿出美颜相机，去欺骗生活。If life deceives you, dont worry. Take out your beautiful camera and deceive life.
三、别去劝一个执意要吃屎的人，不然他不但不会感谢你，还会以为你要和他抢着吃屎呢！Dont try to persuade a person who insists on eating shit. Otherwise, he will not thank you, but will think you want to eat shit with him.
四、老师出了一个上联：姜还是老的辣，叫同学们出下联。小明立刻接出下联：胸还是女的大。老师：小明你给我滚出去。
Teachers made an online couplet: Jiang is still hot old, ask students to come out of the next couplet. Xiao Ming immediately took out the following couplet: breast or female big. Teacher: Xiao Ming, get out of here for me.
五、谈恋爱应该处处让着男朋友，让他做饭，让他洗碗，让他洗衣，让他赚钱，女生呢就辛苦一点，负责吃，负责喝，负责买买买。
In love, you should let your boyfriend cook, wash dishes, wash clothes and make money everywhere. Girls work harder, eat, drink and buy.
六、虽然说强扭的瓜不甜，但有时候我并不在乎它甜不甜，我只想把它扭下来，扭下来我就高兴了。Although the strong melon is not sweet, but sometimes I do not care whether it is sweet or not, I just want to twist it off, twist it off I am happy.
七、减肥没有那么容易，每斤肉有它的脾气，过了吃不胖的'年纪，挣挣扎扎不如放弃。Losing weight is not so easy. Every pound of meat has its temper. After the age of not being fat, it is better to give up struggling.
八、一定要记住那些陪你聊到深夜的人，就是因为他们，才让你熬夜导致黑眼圈那么重，皮肤这么差的。Be sure to remember those who accompany you to talk late at night, because they make you stay up late, resulting in dark circles so heavy, skin so bad.
九、小时候不爱吃饭，导致现在个矮；现在是爱吃饭了，导致又胖又矮。心疼的抱住胖胖的自己。When I was a child, I didnt like eating, which made me short now; now I love eating, which makes me fat and short. The heart hugs the fat oneself.
很幽默很搞笑的句子2一、别人都是笑起来很好看，但是你却不一样，你是看起来很好笑。
二、如果你有喜欢的女生，就送她一支口红吧，至少她亲别人的时候，你还有参与感。
三、2019我的新年愿望是：人瘦点儿，钱包鼓点儿！老天拜托了！千万别再弄错了，去年就给我整反了。
四、谁说男女生没有纯洁的友谊？只要长得丑，四海之内皆朋友！
五、长得好看的人会被人莫名其妙的附加好多属性，聪明，善良，可爱……磕碜的人就一个词：踏实！
六、小时候被奶奶叫龟孙子，稍微长大点被叫兔崽子，如今却沦为一只单身狗，我这一辈子简直就是一部禽兽史！
七、大家都是“情不知所起，一往而深”，我不一样，我是“钱不知所去，一贫如洗”。
八、人生四大悲：久旱逢甘霖，只一滴；他乡遇故知，碰债主；洞房花烛夜，在隔壁；金榜题名时，是做梦。
九、建议大家尝试早睡觉，多运动，不吃夜宵，不抽烟不喝酒，早睡早起养成一个良好的习惯，久而久之，你就一个朋友都没有了。
十、什么叫万死不辞？大概就是每天被气死一万次，但仍然不辞职。
十一、一个男人真的爱上你时，你会发现，咦，多了一个爸爸，男人假的爱上你时，你会发现，多了一个儿子，还是个逆子。
十二、人生在世，总要承担点责任或者找点寄托。所以有人在养父母妻儿，有人养猫养狗养鸟养鱼，有人养花草。我比较高级，闭上眼睛就开始养神。
十三、如果婚姻是爱情的坟墓，一年一次的结婚周年庆祝，便是在“扫墓”了。
十四、热恋时，情侣们常感叹上辈子积了什么德；结婚后，夫妻们常怀疑上辈子造了什么孽。
十五、我曾经幼稚的以为钱可以买到友谊，买到爱情，买到任何你需要的东西。长大后，我才意识到钱真的可以买到你需要的东西，但是，我没有钱。
十六、看到别人二十几岁就家产过亿，十亿，几十亿，我就五百万，还是像素。
十七、美人鱼是假的，至少在中国历史上肯定不存在，否则一定会有烹饪方法和口感疗效流传下来。
十八、也许你对现状不满，觉得自己胖、丑、挫、穷、笨、衰……但请相信一切都会好起来的，慢慢你就会觉得自己好胖、好丑、好挫、好穷、好笨、好衰……
很幽默很搞笑的句子3一、那些迈不过去的坎，还不是因为你腿短！
二、矮是什么感觉？明明想瞪人的，硬生生成了卖萌。
三、“穿什么裤子显得人年轻？”“我实在是想不出有什么能比穿纸尿裤更年轻的了！”
四、我不找你，是我有骨气。你不找我，你就是死了！
五、人生的杯具就是：要考试了，别人在复习，我却在预习。
六、“我觉得，当我的钱包真的好可怜，一辈子都没怎么见过钱。”“当你的镜子才可怜，一辈子都没怎么见过人。”
七、我从来都不骂人，因为我骂的都不是人。
八、只要你非常努力，总有一天你会发现，你永远无法拉近你跟有钱人的差距。
九、现代女人三从四德：三从，从不温柔，从不体贴，从不讲理；四得，说不得，打不得，骂不得，惹不得。
二、搞笑的英语句子
1、没有人不会累，只是每个人宣泄的方式不同，比如我：懒得说。
No one is not tired, but everyone has different ways of venting, such as me: lazy to say.
2、前面一只虫飞到我的数学题旁边，看了几眼题目死了。
A bug in front of me flew to my math problem and saw the problem dead.
3、每当我找到成功的钥匙，就有人偷偷把锁给换了。
Whenever I find the key to success, someone stealthily changes the lock.
4、孔子不能解决的问题，老子帮你解决。
I will help you solve the problems that Confucius can't solve.
5、减肥这种事从来不会船到桥头自然直，你这体重，没到桥头船就沉了。
This kind of thing will never go straight from bridge to bridge. Your weight will sink before bridge.
6、早起的鸟儿有早饭吃，晚起的鸟儿有晚饭吃。
The early bird has breakfast, the late bird has supper.
7、即使失败99次，我也要继续下去，最起码凑个整，免得强迫症又犯了！
Even if I fail 99 times, I will continue, at least to make a whole, so as not to make another obsessive-compulsive disorder!
8、在街上看美女，目光高一点就是欣赏，目光低一点就是流氓。
Looking at beauties in the street, the higher one is appreciation, and the lower one is rogue.
9、脚好冷，想借哪吒的风火轮踩几天。
My feet are cold. I want to step on Nezha's wind fire wheel for a few days.
10、如果我死了，我的第一句话是：终于不用怕鬼了。
If I die, my first sentence is: don't be afraid of ghosts at last.
11、世界上没有无缘无故的爱，也没有无缘无故的恨，却偏偏有无缘无故的胖！
In the world, there is no unprovoked love, no unprovoked hate, but there is no unprovoked fat!
12、再丑也要谈恋爱，谈到世界充满爱。
No matter how ugly you are, you need to fall in love. When it comes to the world full of love.
13、每次聚会结束回到家里都会有深深的失落感，又没吃饱！
Every time I come home after the party, I feel deeply lost and not full!
14、上帝是公平的，给了你丑的外表，还会给你低的智商，以免你显得不协调。
God is fair. He gives you an ugly appearance and a low IQ so that you don't look out of tune.
15、聊着聊着就不回了，坟头信号不好吗？
I will not return after chatting. Is the grave signal bad?
16、去年我希望今年有个男朋友，很遗憾的说到明年应该也不会有。
Last year, I hope to have a boyfriend this year. I'm sorry to say that there should be no boyfriend next year.
17、我哪是什么朴实，节俭，会过日子的人，我只是单纯的穷而已。
What kind of simple, thrifty person am I? I'm just poor.
18、你要给我点颜色看看，我就让你知道花儿为什么这样红。
If you want to show me some color, I will let you know why the flowers are so red.
19、腾不出时间谈恋爱的人，迟早会腾得出时间来相亲。
Those who can't spare time to fall in love will, sooner or later, spare time to meet each other.
20、查完支付宝中的余额，我这颗悬着的心终于不跳了。
After checking the balance in Alipay, my hanging heart finally did not jump.
21、不要在我的世界里玩火，否则你付不起这后果。
Don't play with fire in my world, or you can't afford it.
22、你若对自己的健康，一毛不拔，医院就会帮你拔得，一毛不剩！
If you are healthy to yourself, the hospital will help you to get rid of nothing!
23、别人都说我很瘦，我只是胖的不明显。
People say I'm thin, I'm just fat.
24、琴棋书画不会，洗衣做饭嫌累。
I can't do music, chess, calligraphy and painting. I'm tired of washing and cooking.
25、一个人恍然大悟叫发现，一群人恍然大悟叫受骗。
A person's sudden realization is called discovery, and a group of people's sudden realization is called being deceived.
26、不想喝的酒先干为敬，不想见的人笑脸相迎。
Do not want to drink wine for the first respect, do not want to see people smile.
27、我看见前方黑暗的尽头，有光在等着我。
I saw the end of the darkness ahead, and there was light waiting for me.
28、时差就是，夏天已经到了，可身材还停在冬天。
Time difference is that summer has arrived, but the body still stops in winter.
29、昨晚我拿你的承诺去喂狗，第二天早上发现狗死了。
Last night I took your promise to feed the dog. The next morning I found the dog dead.
30、本想对男神来个回眸一笑，可未曾料到天太冷，笑出了一个鼻涕泡儿。
I wanted to look back and smile at the God of man, but I didn't expect it to be too cold, and I laughed out a snot bubble.
31、早上在床上看时间都不是为了起床，而是看还能再睡多久。
In the morning, watching time in bed is not to get up, but to see how much longer you can sleep.
32、激动的心，颤抖的手，谁是谁的小舔狗！
Excited heart, shaking hands, who is the little licking dog!
33、现在出门都用手机支付，带钱感觉好丢人，都不好意思拿出手！
Now I pay with my mobile phone when I go out. It's embarrassing to take money with me. I'm sorry to take it!
34、中分看鼻子，齐刘海看脸型，斜刘海看气质，无刘海看五官，我适合蒙面。
The middle part looks at the nose, the Qi Liu Hai looks at the face shape, the oblique Liu Hai looks at the temperament, the non Liu Hai looks at the facial features, I am suitable for masquerading.
35、没心没肺，能活百岁，问心无愧，做人不累。
Heartless, can live a hundred years old, have a clear conscience, do not tired.
36、我要说你是个二傻子，那都是在表扬你。
I want to say that you are a fool, that is to praise you.
37、网上自古无娇娘，残花败柳一行行，偶有几对鸳鸯鸟，也是野鸡配色狼。
Since ancient times, there have been no beauties on the Internet. There are only a few pairs of mandarin ducks and birds. They are also pheasants and coyotes.
38、不要相信一个吃货说她要减肥，她说这话的时候，一定是她刚吃饱的时候。
Don't believe that a foodie says she wants to lose weight. When she says that, it must be when she is just full.
39、药不医假病，酒不解真愁。
Medicine doesn't cure fake disease, wine doesn't understand true worry.
40、女人，是水做的；老娘我是混凝土做的。
Woman, it's made of water; I'm made of concrete.
41、干啥啥不行，吃饭第一名。
No matter what you do, first place in the meal.
42、只有在火车站大排长龙时，才能真正意识到自己是龙的传人。
Only when there are long lines of dragons in the railway station can we really realize that we are the descendants of the dragon.
43、单身久了，连煮饺子看见两个粘在一起，我都要用铲子把它们分开。
I've been single for a long time. When I see two dumplings sticking together, I have to use a shovel to separate them.
44、你一定要好好读书，不要像我一样天天靠脸混日子。
You must study hard. Don't live by your face like me.
45、终于知道吃奥利奥为什么要先舔一舔了，因为那样就没人抢了啊。
Finally, I know why I need to lick Oreo first, because no one will take it.
46、背叛，也许是偶然的，但不允许发现第二次。
Betrayal may be accidental, but it is not allowed to find a second time.
47、人生如戏，与日俱增的，除了年龄，还有演技。
Life is like a play, growing day by day, in addition to age, there are acting.
48、女生之间就不要耍心机了，反正几十年后都要一起去跳广场舞的。
Girls don't want to play tricks on each other. They will go dancing together in the square in decades.
49、人生最大杯具：美人迟暮，英雄谢顶。
The biggest cup of life: the beauty is late and the hero is dead.
50、真爱就像鬼，听说的人多，遇见的人少。
True love is like ghosts. There are many people who hear about it and few people who meet it.
51、我抽烟的理由很简单：我爷爷抽烟，我爸爸也抽烟，轮到我不能断了香火。
The reason why I smoke is very simple: my grandfather smokes, my father also smokes, it's my turn not to cut off the incense.
52、有钱人的快乐，我想象不到，也许是因为当局者迷，旁观者清吧！
I can't imagine the happiness of the rich. Maybe it's because the spectators can see clearly!
53、人还是要多出去走走，不然根本不知道躺在家里玩手机有多舒服。
People still need to go out more, or they don't know how comfortable it is to lie at home and play with mobile phones.
54、在女孩子花一样的年纪里，你长成了一棵多肉植物。
At the same age as girls, you grow into a succulent plant.
55、如果贫穷限制了你的想象力，为什么你还能想出那么多省钱的办法？
If poverty limits your imagination, why can you think of so many ways to save money?
56、姐也是站在人渣肩膀上成长起来的好姑娘。
Elder sister is also a good girl growing up on the shoulder of scum.
57、我从不奉承谁，嘴巴也不够甜，但你要令我失望，我就有资本让你绝望。
I never flatter anyone, and my mouth is not sweet enough, but if you want to disappoint me, I have the capital to make you despair.
58、凡是过去，皆为序由。
The past is the order.
59、为什么我的手机开启了飞行模式，从楼上扔下去还是摔坏了啊？
Why does my mobile phone turn on the flight mode, throw it from upstairs or break it?
60、人的想法是会变的：以前我也是想致富的，现在只想脱贫。
People's ideas will change: I used to want to be rich, but now I just want to get out of poverty.
61、年轻不嗨，老年痴呆。老年痴呆越呆越嗨。
Young is not Hi, Alzheimer's. The more you stay in Alzheimer's, the higher you are.
62、钱不是问题，问题是没钱。
Money is not a problem. The problem is no money.
63、那些拧不开瓶盖的女生其实都是装的，你让她拆个快递试试，都不用剪子。
Those girls who can't open the bottle cap are actually loaded. You ask her to open a courier to try, without scissors.
三、搞笑散装英语句子
散装英语的意思其实就是中文式英语的另一种称呼了，也是有意思的很了，为了表达自己的意思，将一些英语单词按照中文的说话方式排列组合，然后进行对话。
搞笑散装英语句子如下：
Youseesee you,one day day, just know eat eat eat!你看看你一天天，只知道吃吃吃！
goodgoodstudy，daydayup！好好学习，天天向上！
If you don’t drive good good, your mother and father cry cry.如果你开车不好好开，你的爸爸妈妈就要哭哭了！
Know is know，no know is no know.知之为知之，不知为不知。
long time no see.很久不见。
how are you? how old are you?怎么是你，怎么老是你？
We two who and who？咱俩谁跟谁阿？
You Give Me Stop!你给我站住！
Dragon born dragon,chicken born chicken,mouse'son can make hole!龙生龙，凤生凤，老鼠的儿子会打洞！